


You know where you hope the train will take you, but you can't be sure

by AnnabelleRowan



Series: Free to Be You and Me [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabelleRowan/pseuds/AnnabelleRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I'm in love!” he thinks and it's so ridiculous, intoxicating, because Makoto has been in love before, but it had never felt like this, never felt like he could get up and run the rest of the way to Kisumi, like he could fly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know where you hope the train will take you, but you can't be sure

**Author's Note:**

> Like Tena said it - Kisumi is a boyfriend Makoto deserves.

Makoto is on the train when he realises it.

He's sitting on the edge of the seat thinking what ice cream flavour he'll get this time, although he knows it will, as always, be strawberry. Something about its colour just calls to Makoto and then he thinks, such a casual little thought – it's the colour of Kisumi's hair.

That's the reason he's on the train  – not because Kisumi has pink hair under a certain light, but because he went to training after school and after it, while guys lingered by the pool – Haru still in it, Rei and Nagisa talking under the showers, Gou and Ama-chan pretending to be discussing club matters, but actually gossiping – Makoto showered in record time, changed from his school uniform into jeans and a simple green t-shit and took the train for which he didn't even have to buy a ticket at the station – he had a monthly ticket for it because it was more convenient – he rode the train that much lately – and that's it – that's the bucket of facts that empties over Makoto's head and freezes him – him changing from his uniform and taking the train when usually he changed when he got home and went to that home by foot. But he’s not going home, is he?

It's been a few months since he met Kisumi again in the swim centre and ever since then they've been spending time together – every weekend at first, but then that turned into every third day, then every second day, and now if they don't manage to see each other for one day they spend it texting each other and talking on the phone late at night until one of them, usually Makoto, falls asleep, even though they'll see each other the next day.

It's didn't take long for them to memorise each other’s schedules – not on purpose, but in that simple, natural way that people who spend time together do, and now they have their own – MakoKisu timetable – with Mondays reserved for studying together at the local library, Tuesdays for their favourite ice cream place, Wednesdays for studying again, Thursdays for running down the track path by the beach, Fridays for doing homework – one time at Kisumi's, one time at Makoto's place. Fridays, Makoto notices, more often than not turn into sleepovers and hours spent playing with their younger siblings.

When they have time, they use weekends for traveling – to some nearby places with interesting things to see, or exhibitions, or fairs. When they can’t, or don’t have anywhere to travel to, they spend them in one of their rooms, talking – about a thousand big and little things – and Makoto realises how different his relationship with Kisumi is in comparison to his relationships with his other friends.

And here it is again – a revelation upon revelation this train ride is – Kisumi being his friend.

It's not that Makoto isn’t perceptive of his surroundings or that he’s a closed or cold person – everyone in his class likes him and his swim team are not just people he trains with, they’re people he's sharing his life with, him and Haru being friends for as long as he can remember. Even their competition – the Samezuka Academy team – Rin of course, but even Sousuke, Nitori and Momo came to be if not friends, then close acquaintances for sure.

It’s that, somehow, in all that, Kisumi has his own category that is different from all the others.

Maybe it's the physical contact, Makoto thinks – Kisumi hugs a lot – every time they see each other and every time they are saying goodbye, but it's not just the hugs – they sit next to instead of opposite each other, and even when they do sit opposite each other their knees constantly bump together. When Makoto told Kisumi about his grandfather’s passing Kisumi took his hand and held it all through Makoto's story about spending his winter breaks in the big city his grandpa had lived in when Makoto was younger.

And that's another matter – Makoto talks. He talks so much – about himself, about his family and friends, about the little things that happened to him through the day, but also about big things – what he wants to do with his life, what he dreams of and what he fears. He realises the amount of his not shutting up only when he's with other people – he can suddenly feel his quietness like it's a living thing in his lungs – and it's not even that he doesn’t talk, it's the things he doesn’t say. For example, out of all his friends, only Kisumi knows about his grandfather’s passing – and now, he's not giving them enough credit because they have noticed Makoto’s been down and asked him about it, but that was a few days before some competition so Makoto had smiled, said it's nothing, thought it wasn’t worth spoiling the good time they were having.

But with Kisumi he can say all that is on his mind and Kisumi doesn’t only listen to him – he asks, wants to know more, encourages him to continue, expresses his feelings.  
He talks back, shares his own stories – how he's happy with the school he's going to, how his parents are never home, how he wants Hayato to have a careless childhood and how that's maybe already ruined.

It comes to Makoto that the feeling in his stomach may not be from excitement about eating ice cream – he gets the same one every time after all, but instead it may be from the fact that he'll see Kisumi – despite the fact that he saw him just yesterday. It may be from the smile he realises always appears on his face when he thinks about Kisumi, from the anticipation of that warm hug he knows is waiting for him when he gets off the train.

And then, as simple as jumping into water and as sudden as the shock of – a scene appears in Makoto's head. He goes red in the face, but can't help himself.

How would it be, he thinks and already knows it would be wonderful, he just needs some time to process it – how would it be if Kisumi didn't just hug him this time – how would it be if he kissed Makoto, or, even better, if Makoto kissed him? Would Kisumi taste like strawberrys, like cotton candy, like that mint bubble-gum he developed a habit of chewing lately?

The feeling in Makoto's abdomen, _butterflies_ Makoto thinks, only sink deeper.

“I'm in love!” he thinks and it's so ridiculous, intoxicating, because Makoto has been in love before, but it had never felt like this, never felt like he could get up and run the rest of the way to Kisumi, like he could _fly_.

For Makoto love always meant sacrifice and abnegation, meant that the person you love comes first no matter what.

He thinks “What if I was wrong?”, at the same time realising that he may be wrong now – he's in love with Kisumi, but what if Kisumi doesn’t love him back?

How can Makoto be sure Kisumi doesn’t see them like Makoto saw them all this time – just as friends, that Kisumi doesn’t take them for granted, the same way Makoto did until about a minute ago?

A pang of fear suddenly joins the butterflies in his stomach, compels them into a mad dance, and for a moment Makoto can't breathe from panic, from the fear digging its talons into his heart – what if he's wrong about everything, what if he ruins everything. This is not how he behaves, this is not how he goes about things – pink strawberry ice cream, sudden realisations and thoughts of flying.

It's unknown territory, but then he exhales, blinks and everything is clear, simple, easy – it's not the unknown land – Makoto's been living there for months now. And it's not new behaviour – he's the same old Makoto with his rationalisations, thinking ahead and boring stories, it's just that he feels more comfortable in that skin now, accepts himself for what he is, and he feels the fear leaving him. He thinks of the way his room smells after Kisumi leaves it, how his clothes are constantly rumpled from the way he positions his body when they are together, how he calls Kisumi Kisumi from the start – not Kisumi-san or even Kisumi-chan and gets called Makoto, or even Mako in return.

He can't stop smiling, and when his station is called he grabs his backpack and all but runs to the door. They usually meet at the ice cream shop, but when he steps onto the platform Kisumi is waiting for him – smiling and waving, coming towards him saying “I couldn’t wait”, so Makoto does the only thing that's left to do. He does the reasonable thing and kisses Kisumi.

It's not a deep kiss, just a brief one, all the gratitude and happiness and hope passed from one pair of lips to the other, and Makoto steps back, apology on his lips stopped by the grin that lights up Kisumi's whole face.

And then they are kissing again, Kisumi's hands grabbing the front of Makoto's t-shirt, pulling him closer, Makoto's palms on each side of Kisumi's face, tilting his head up, lips not meeting in gratitude, but in want, their tongues intertwining.

When they pull apart, Kisumi, because they're easy like that, says

“Took you long enough.”

Makoto smiles, can't stop smiling, and says

“Yeah, yeah it did.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm illiterate piece of garbage and owe everything to my wonderful friend, saviour and beta B. Thank you dear :*
> 
> In other news - get ready for more of this because cotton candy boy and Makoto are apparently new light of my life.
> 
> Title is from Inception quote.


End file.
